The Sandwich Life

Holidays and Hair

I had to post this because as I recall Ernie's hair looked just like John Mellencamp's at this point in time.....

Christmas Arrives Early and Other Random Notes from the Sandwich Life

1.  The other day we were driving along, all four of us, and out of the blue Owen said, “do you know why I cried more when the brown van went away than when I did when Aunt Judi died?”  I said I didn’t and he went on to explain that sometimes when you love something and it goes away, the next time you love something and it goes away it hurts worse.  I love that boy.

 2.  Just now I came downstairs to see Leo trotting off to school, backpack and hair bobbing along and Owen standing at the door.  I asked him what he was waiting for and he looked up and said matter of factly, "for him to be out of sight."  I said, "aren't you allowed to walk within sight of him?" and he said cheerfully, "well NO!"  I shrugged my shoulders and watched him go out the door as soon as Leo was out of sight.....

 

3.  O.k......Christmas has arrived early for Ernie and me......BECAUSE we went ahead and booked David Olney for a house concert (February 5---mark it on your calendar because I want LOTS of people there!).  Interestingly enough we did it the same day we bounced a check.  Woo-hoooooooo!  Living life to the fullest, huh?  Yes, as we kept saying to each other last night in amazement.....David Fucking Olney.....in OUR living room.  The best Christmas present we could give each other.....

4.  My sister Debbie flies in tomorrow.  I can't WAIT particularly as it was not a very pleasant visit at the nursing home last night. I can not wait to have a day off and not have to worry about it during our party....  In fact we are in countdown mode to the party with Fats and Kristi Rose.  The yard will not be decorated, the patio will be a mess, the house will be dusty and not as decorated as planned but it will all be good.....remember....if you're reading this....consider yourself invited.....just email me for directions....

5.  King Chard continues to rule the garden....

 

Random Pictures from the Sandwich Life

Too bleary to write this morning.  It doesn't matter how much time you have off.....going back to the grind isn't easy.....and I hate that I think it's a grind but sometimes it is.  My cold is better....I'm sure after some coffee-milk and nose-blowing I will feel much perkier.....

  

 

 

They're Not Fantastic.....They're PERFECT!

That's what Leo said when I told him that our half-decorated Christmas trees looked fantastic.  "They're not fantastic.....they're PERFECT."

That boy has Christmas in his soul.  I think it's genetic.....I don't know if it's something you can learn.

Here is day one of my Christmas countdown.....with one of my favorite Christmas songs......Things Fall Apart by Cristina.  Off a ZE compilation out of Detroit in the early 80's I believe......

For a long time, "I wept a bit.....and fed the cat" was one of our catchphrases.

Forgive me for my Christmas cheer.....but hell.....I'm Leo's mom.....

 

Flashes

Do you ever get those flashes of awareness?  Aware of exactly where you are and how you feel?  I had one today.  We were walking out of the mall (one of our begrudging annual trips) having just bought the boys' winter coats courtesy my mother.  Owen was carrying the big bag of coats pretending it was incredibly heavy, Ernie was bugging and tickling Leo and making him giggle.  The sun was shining, I was laughing and we all felt so happy.  And I just had this flash of awareness and thought that maybe some of the challenges I have had, and continue to have as well all do----maybe they are just the price I have to pay for the incredible joy that I get from Ernie and my boys.  And you know?  They're worth it.  I know life isn't that simplistic but there's got to be an element of truth to that, don't you think?  Otherwise why would I have been given this great gift?

Post Thanksgiving Cold-Induced Random Notes

1.  Best turkey ever.....I swear it was even better than the one I got from the farmers' market last year that, while wonderful, cost a hell of a lot of money given my budget.  This year things are tight so when Schnuck's had an ad for frozen turkeys at 39 cents a pound we figured that was it.  When Ernie went however, they were out of the frozen turkeys so sold him a fresh turkey for the same price.  Thus we ended up with an almost 20 lb. fresh turkey for something like 8 bucks!  I decided not to put my stuffing inside it this year and while I think my stuffing suffered a bit for it the turkey was marvelous.  It was kind of a chaotic morning---I got up to make the stuffing, gave Ernie a few directions and set off for the hospital.  Oh, and the night before Ernie had rubbed the turkey all over inside and out with chopped fresh sage and kosher salt.  I forgot to tell Ernie to put butter on the skin as I usually do but we decided to let it go without as when I roast chicken I don't do that.....  The result was the most delicate skin, gorgeously browned----the dark meat was completely cooked but the white meat was outrageously moist.  Ernie usually eschews the white meat but he loved it this time.  Best turkey ever.....

2.  Best gravy ever.  After Ernie had bought this turkey so cheap I sent him back for another.  By that time they had more frozen turkeys so the deal was over but he went ahead and got a small fresh turkey and we grilled it that day.  I have found that I just don't care for small turkeys.....shorter cooking times just leaves it tasting different to me.  I don't know if that makes any sense but the grilled turkey was o.k. but not thrilling.  However it left me with a carcass to make turkey stock out of.  Then on Thanksgiving morning I cooked the turkey neck int he broth, making it even richer.  Then I made a roux and added the broth.  It tasted pretty great then and when the Thanksgiving turkey was done all I had to do was add the degreased pan drippings and I had amazing gravy.  Ernie just wanted to drink it straight....but then again he's just that kind of guy.

3.  Between spending the morning at the hospital, coming down with a cold and not sleeping well the night before by the time dinner was approaching I was in NO mood to peel potatoes so I sliced up a bunch of  yukon golds, simmered them for a few minutes and then threw them in a casserole dish with some grated cheese, garlic and cream.  Stupidly simple and good although I'll go back to mashed potatoes next year.  Brussels sprouts----beautiful but so-so.  The last year or two whenever I have a bit of good bread (I love the La Brea breads) left I throw it in the freezer and then I pull them all out to cut up and toast for use in stuffing.  That, some sausage, apple and aromatics makes for my favorite stuffing.....

4.  What else?  Well, I think we're going to make the Bourbon Pumpkin Cheesecake today since we didn't manage it on Wednesday or yesterday.

5.  My mother seems MUCH better----back to herself thank God!  She may go back to the nursing home tomorrow, and hopefully with more diuretics in the mix we'll avoid a repeat of this.  We'll see.

6.  We went and bought our Christmas trees today.  Owen fell madly in love with a tree that he thought was the right size for him so our dining room tree will be a bit shorter than usual.  Leo, my holiday boy, was in festive spirits (clamoring yesterday to set the table for Thanksgiving dinner and the like) and today.....well, let's just say that picking out a Christmas tree with Leo is one of life's greatest pleasures.  He is SO happy.....he just chatters away.....he even let me take a PICTURE of him.....

  

  

7.  Dennis brought the guys these rocket things that they loved-----they shot incredibly high out in the field and they had a great time with them after Thanksgiving and then again this afternoon.  Note Leo's snazzy outfit.....jeans jacket and black gloves.....

8.  Update Saturday morning.  My mother is going back to the nursing home today.....and she's cranky again.  Ah well.  I'll go by the nursing home later.  I was going to go over to the hospital now but she called her homecare worker to come over and get her out of bed into a chair.  She has become almost obsessed with not lying in bed.  Eh, I'm just going to try to enjoy the day.  My cold doesn't seem quite as overwhelming today----we're going to bring the Christmas trees inside and decorate them tonight.

9.  Last night we put my little Christmas trees on the mantel.  I think it was Judi who started giving me a little Christmas tree every year.....and then my friend Eileen gave me some wonderful ones too.  It's now a tradition that I get a new one every year.  The boys LOVE putting them up.....it's become one of our most important Christmas traditions.....the shiny blue one is this year's new one.....please note the group of Lego carolers singing (Owen's contribution).  I used to feel that Thanksgiving weekend was too soon to start Christmas decorations but now I've given in and embrace it....and besides our Christmas party is next weekend.  We won't be terribly prepared for it but in the scheme of things I guess that doesn't really matter...don't forget to email me if you need directions!

 

10.  Oh....and I forgot to say......one of the BIGGEST dilemmas of the holiday season has been solved.  WHAT to do with the millenium falcon.  If we're going to have Fats and Kristi Rose in the best corner of our small living room for music....then the Christmas tree has to go where the millenium falcon has been on display.  There have been long conversations, lengthy sessions with measuring tapes and near panic....but we finally figured it out.  Leo did not trust anyone else to actually move it from one table to the other......

11.  Maybe toDAY we'll make the cheesecake....who knows!

Pictures from a Day of Thanksgiving

I visited my mother for awhile this morning----watched the Macy's parade with her.  She was much more herself than yesterday.  I told her how thankful I was for her.  We missed her terribly by having my brother in law Dennis here made it a holiday and we had a really good time.....despite the fact that I ended up making no dessert (I know----the horror!) and one less vegetable than planned.....my turkey was pretty damn good if I do say so myself....and Ernie wanted to drink my gravy straight.....

Despite my intermittent complaints I am very thankful for what I have and for those I love.  And DAMN if I don't have two wonderful little guys.....  Happy Thanksgiving all!

  

my meat pie:

 

 

pistachios and shallots for my brussels sprouts:

 
Ernie's comment on this picture was to say that it was the late 50's model that had fins.  What kind of man looks a turkey and sees a vintage car?

  

My mother's Spode.  She had given it to Judi and now it is ours.

  

One of my very favorite flint 1850-60s goblets:  Bulls Eye with Fleur de Lys.  Gorgeous pattern.....

 

 

Thank THIS.

Just got back from visiting my mother in the hospital.  Some kind of page has been turned, she's beyond anxious and is cranky and well, uh....kind of rude sometimes.  I can't even begin to tell you how unlike my mother this is.  Can not to BEGIN to tell you how unlike her this is.....  They're moving her to a private room because she was so agitated that she kept her roommate up last night.  There are still flashes that are perfectly normal.....like when she smiles at the boys but it was difficult.

I fucking hate it.  I know that this is just what life does to you though. 

Do people sometimes just live too long?  Too long for their own happiness anyway?

I feel as though I'm losing my mother even though she's here physically.  I went through that once with my father.  I didn't want to go through it again.  What's the option though?  A nice clean heart attack?  Hell, I don't know.

How do I turn this into an upbeat Thanksgiving post?  Well, I'm thankful for who my mother has been all her life, for all the.....oh hell....I just fucking hate it.  

O.k., o.k., I AM still thankful for many things though.  I'm thankful that the boys are angels.....sweet, squabbling angels.  I'm thankful I'm going to have our Plouffe family tradition of French meat pie tonight.  I'm thankful I'm going to make cranberry sauce in few minutes because I love it when they start popping.  I'm thankful that I had a chorizo quesdilla for breakfeast.  I'm thankful I'm getting a cold because fuck---it's not cancer.  I'm thankful my mother's cat Annie is starting to venture to the first floor and even (gasp) the second....  I'm REALLY thankful my sister Debbie is coming next week.  I'm thankful there's so much good music out there.  I'm thankful Ernie's so damn wonderful and smells good too.  Speaking of smelling good, I'm thankful I met a SECOND charming kidney doctor today.  I'm thankful Leo made a cool Lego candy machine.  I'm thankful for my life----hiccups, warts and all.  This is just how it is.....for all of us in one way or another.....

Here are a few pictures from the day:

 

 

  

and talk about thankful and BRAVE....look at this little nasturtium hanging on despite the frost.....

 

I Got a Little Ahead of Myself.....

I guess I got a little too enthusiastic in my last post.  My mother is back in the hospital so we won't have her here for Thanksgiving.

She fell out of bed in the nursing home and her breathing was getting worse so they send her to the emergency room and she was admitted.

When I talked to her this morning she was trying to climb out of bed and agitated.  Ernie and I went over and she calmed down some.  We'll go back over this afternoon with the boys.

Cynthia's Very Good Day

1. My friend Norma (o.k., I've never met her in person but she's still a friend....and the funny thing is that she found my blog because she was a colleague of Judi's.....and now....even though she didn't know Judi that well...she is a friend of mine!) called the nursing home and got them to bring a driver in on Thanksgiving and bring my mother in their wheelchair lift van to our home for THANKSGIVING!  And they are doing it!!!  Everyone cheer for Heartland Manorcare.....I can't believe it.  I cried.  I think I didn't even realize how sad I was about her not being here for Thanksgiving until then.....  Last Thanksgiving was the last Thanksgiving with Judi and the Thanksgiving before that was the last one with my father....so I really wanted this one with her....  The boys cheered when I told them......

As Heather put it so perfectly....."sniff, sniff.....Norma ROCKS."

2.  When I was at the nursing home this evening the respiratory therapist asked me if I was my mother's GRANDdaughter.  Woo-hooooo!

3.  My boss closed the office early.

4.  My mother got a check she'd been waiting for so I don't have to call the government thrift savings program tomorrow.

5. Tomorrow is meat pie day.  I'm going to make the filling and the pickled beets tonight and tomorrow we'll bring it to the nursing home so my mother can have it.....as any good Plouffe girl should, on Thanksgiving Eve.

6.  My mother's cat Annie actually came out of the basement....through the whole first floor, even up the stairs to the second floor and Bob and Hattie didn't attack her.

7.  I do NOT have to go to work tomorrow.....Ernie and I may go OUT TO BREAKFAST which is very exciting as our wretched children never want to....but it won't matter because they'll be at SCHOOL.....hahahahahahah

8.  I took this picture today and I liked it.

 

9.  and my sister Debbie is COMING NEXT WEEK.....her FMLA paperwork finally went through!!!

10.  And right now.....I love each and every one of you!!!!

Random Notes from the Sandwich Life

1.  It looks as though it will be just us four for Thanksgiving which makes me a bit sad.  I don't think we can get my mother in and out of a car.  I don't think I've EVER cooked Thanksgiving dinner just for us.  Last year Judi was with us.

 

2.  I think I'm getting a cold but I haven't admitted to anybody but you.

3.  I haven't had time to obsess over my Thanksgiving menu as I am wont to do.  It will be turkey (haven't decided on exactly what recipe/seasoning), sausage and apple stuffing, mashed potatoes (plain for the boys), roasted sweet potatoes, red, yellow and orange carrots, and parsnips with sage and I'm not sure what else, beautiful little brussels sprouts maybe sauteed with a little garlic and bacon, cranberry sauce----maybe with pomegranate thrown in......and I'm thinking Bourbon Pumpkin Cheesecake for dessert.  Are you trying anything new or particularly fun?

4.  a few random pictures.....

 
Ernie and Owen planting bulbs....

 
a lousy picture but perhaps you get the idea how stunning it was....

 
Bob with something to say....

 
post-shower evening Lego.....

The Sweet Peas' School Pictures

O.k......I know I should have gotten Leo's hair trimmed before school pictures because it's a SHAME not to be able to see those beautiful eyes....  And I must admit I wish Owen had taken off his jacket so you could get the full glory of the Ramones t-shirt....but despite it all I think they are the most beautiful things in the world.

My sweet peas....