The Sandwich Life

Random Notes from the Sandwich Life

1.  Have you ever seen Jimmie Dale Gilmore live?  Or Todd Snider?  They both have a tendency to suddenly start rambling about whatever has come into their mind. It adds a whole other level to the great music.....  Todd Snider gives a standard explanation at all his shows:

My name is todd snider and ive been driving around for fifteen years making this shit up and singing it to anybody that will listen to it. Some of its funny some of its sad some of its short some of them go on longer than others and sometimes I¹ll ramble on for as many as eighteen minutes... in between the songs.

Well....living with Owen is kind of like living in a Jimmie Dale Gilmore or Todd Snider performance.  Yesterday he put his new camouflage quilt on his bed in his new room and invited me upstairs to admire it.  I was about twenty pages from finishing a mystery (thank Kirsten) but this was a big event so I begrudgingly put the book down.  He showed me around the room, practically levitating from the beauty of it all and then invited me to play a game of chess.  I reminded him that I didn't know how to play chess but he waved off my hesitation, assuring me that HE could teach me.  So I spent roughly the next hour laying on his bed playing a game that most wouldn't know as chess, sharing some strawberries midway and listened to Owen alternate between giving me chess instructions and then all of sudden doing a little Jimmie Dale/Todd style rants.....  Then he would pause, let out a joyful sigh and say, "isn't this a wonderful time we're having?"  I had to agree.

2.  Had to do my mother's grocery shopping as it was Sunday but decided to drag the whole family along.  So we headed over to mom's, shopped, planted flowers on her deck (only a couple of months late) and chatted.  Then we took off for Target where we spent an inordinate amount of money on shoes, socks, a lampshade and most importantly....a wallet for Owen.  He's been DYING for a wallet...."just like the one Mr. Krabs has."  Then Leo announced he was starving and that maybe we should go out to lunch.  I promptly fell over.  He shyly suggested the Esquire so we just nodded our heads and headed over....  We came back home, the guys headed to the park to play and I indulged my youtube obsession (I don't even want to tell you how many videos it says I've watched).  Nothing better than sitting in the front yard with a nice breeze, a glass of wine and watching music you love....especially when you're with this guy....

3.  While at Target I had a sudden realization that I am exactly like my father in some ways.  Growing up we all knew that if we asked for something Dad was pretty much mush and would say yes.  My mother tempered this somewhat and we somehow learned NOT to ask for things that we knew we couldn't afford or weren't realistic.....had to protect my father from himself.....but...   Don't even ask about the time my mother was out of town and my dad and I went to the O'Hare antiques show by ourselves.  HA!  Anyway....while I stood there considering lampshades the guys saw the lava lamps and Owen almost exploded.  But you know....when you have a brand new room and a new camouflage blanket and a new old desk.....well a lava lamp would just set the whole thing off, don't you think?

4.  Speaking of my father....this song by Griffin House pretty much kills me.  The current war just broke my father's heart.  He literally would cry for the soldiers and what some of them will carry with them for the rest of their lives.  Owen is so proud of his grandfather for being in WWII---as he should be---but I try to help him also see that even though Grandpa was proud of fighting for our country (at all of 17 years old) it also made him hate war and that's something he needs to learn from Grandpa as well. 

Anyway....do watch this.  There's a version with an wonderful introduction by Griffin House as he talks about his 88 year old grandfather whom the song was written about---and in fact is in the video....go watch the intro but the sound isn't great for the song so watch the rest here.....can't decide between the two clips---the video does have his grandfather in it after all---but I really like the great live version so I'll put both on so you can decide...

5.  My father was a signalman on a LST in World War II.  He took the pennant from his ship and it was very important to him.  I remember him showing it to me when I was a child.  He never talked much about the war then...he saved that for his later years....but I remember seeing the pennant.  He passed it on to me and I always put it out on Memorial Day and the Fourth of July.  I imagine it will go to Owen someday....

It's Sunday So Soon?

I'll try to force myself into a better mood today.  I went to bed early last night and read, listening to the various fireworks from the neighborhood.....probably the best part of the day.  It rained all day yesterday, just slow, steady rain.....they even cancelled the big parade for the first time in 50+ years.  Hopefully today will be a bit brighter....although Leo just came downstairs only to wrap up in blankets and fall asleep on the couch....  It's unlike him so I hope he's feeling o.k.....

I'm not quite back in a regular schedule yet....back from vacation....two days at work....now a three day weekend.  I forgot to take my pills for something like three or four days in a row leading to outrageous headaches and probably some of my horrible dreams and edginess.....hopefully I'm settled back in....

To start the day off nicely.....here are a few random pictures from vacation.  Oh, and speaking of vacation....did I tell you we saw a black bear on the drive to Eastport?  Well, Ernie, Debbie, Ricky and I all saw it....Leo and Owen were looking away as it ran across the highway in front of us.  I wasn't quick enough to yell LOOK because I was busy thinking 'gee, that's an odd looking big dog....wait, I don't think that's a dog....oh my god it's a BEAR!'  You know, it's not as though we often see bears trotting around Central Illinois....  Owen immediately sobbed, "I'll never see one in my WHOLE life" but we assured him that he has a long life ahead of him and who KNOWS how many bears he will see.

The 4th....

Today has just been off.  Not bad...but just off.  For some reason I just have been wildly on edge and cross all day.  I don't know why.  I'm not mad at anyone or about anything (more than the general worries of our life) but for some reason.....well, I don't know....just one of those days.

We did manage to squeeze in our neighborhood parade despite the rain though...and we have some pork smoking on our grill right now so I guess not all is lost....

Mary and Ray----two of my favorite people....

Simon, Eamon and Owen.  You can just barely see the vulcan ears on Simon.  Evidently when they started talking about decorating bikes he decided to dress as a vulcan.  As Ernie said, NOTHING says the 4th of July like vulcans.....

Happy 4th all.....

Eating in Lubec.....

Ahhhh.....cooking in Maine.....I love it....and cooking for Debbie is great fun as she's an appreciative audience!  I didn't cook wonderfully every night....but I hit it on a couple of nights....as did Debbie....

First night: I bought some haddock and cooked it like my grandmother did----floured, paprika'd and sauteed in butter.  Mmmmm.  Definitely a childhood comfort food kind of thing.

The next night we had Ernie's classic grilled chicken....

The following day we bought some lobsters.....we usually save our classic Grandpa version of stuffed lobsters for later in the week----and Debbie is in charge of that anyway.  So I went through the cookbooks I had with me and what was in the house....still couldn't decide but then I thought about the book I'd been reading: Heat by Bill Buford.  I liked the beginning of the book, liked it less as it went on but his description of cooking cockles and pasta had stuck with me.  He talked about throwing the pasta, barely cooked, into the pan with the cooked cockles so the pasta absorbed the juices...

SO......I decided on some kind of lobster and pasta thing.  I went with linguine as it's a favorite of Ernie's.  I decided I wanted to cook the pasta in the lobster juices so before we steamed it I sauteed some garlic and onions in olive oil.  Then I added a couple of inches of water and salt and brought it to a boil. We steamed the lobsters (Debbie's in charge of that) in the flavored water and took them out to cool, later taking the meat from the shells. For a sauce I sauteed some diced tomatoes and capers in olive oil.  Next time I would use much less tomato but it was an experiment you know.....  Once the tomatoes and capers were softened I tossed in the lobster meat to warm it up.  Then we cooked the linguine in the lobster water.    Tossed it all together and served it with warm La Brea bread and a simple green salad. 

The sauce, the lobster, the bread, the salad.....all good.  The linguini?  ABSOLUTELY AMAZING..... Oh my god....the stuff just tasted like the ocean.  Wet and salty and ocean-y and reeking of lobster.  MMM-mmmmm.  I must say I think it's my favorite thing I cooked the entire vacation.

We had a bit of the lobster and pasta leftover so I made a frittata for breakfast.  Well, it was kind of a frittata...I also browned some pieces of the leftover bread in the pan before pouring the eggs over. Oh, and I threw some parmesan on top .  It might have been better done a little more simply but overall it came out pretty darn well.  The best part?  The teeny pieces of pasta found in it.....

I think the next night we ate lunch late, Ernie and I went out for a drink and when we got back I put together sandwiches for us....nothing fancy but hunger and Rayes mustard will do the trick.  More on Rayes in another post.....

On Wednesday we renewed our hunt for someplace to buy steamers (clams) and fish.  Lubec is small enough that there is just an IGA with limited fresh seafood and produce.  Next year I guess we'll know to stop in Machias at a bigger store.  We had asked a couple of people about our steamers quest and had been told about a place which Debbie and I had tried to find on a fruitless trip.  A few days later, armed with more detailed directions Ernie and I headed there....we finally found it only to be told they weren't doing retail any more that it would be at another place down the road. We ended up at the Boldcoast Smokehouse and bought the most fabulous lox that I have ever had in my life.  Not that I'm an expert I suppose but good LORD but they were fantastic.  Also had an entertaining chat with the owner about Maine and Lubec and lighthouses and New Years Eve 1980....  I cooked some cream (it was vacation after all) with some fresh tarragon, let it reduce a bit and then added the sliced salmon and the rest of the tarragon at the end---put it over the rest of the box of linguine and it was pretty great.  Ricky liked it as well (he even pronounced lobster 'not half bad' on this trip).  Evidently I was too busy and hungry to take pictures....oh, if you could only taste that salmon....it would be worth ordering online....

Let's see....what else?  I had an amazing clam roll in a little restaurant called the Happy Crab in Eastport, Maine.  Sometimes fried clams taste like fried friedness if you know what I mean but these clams were moist and oceany while still all crispy.  And by my reckoning....ANYTHING you put on a New England style hot dog bun is great....with a little very good coleslaw on the side (I'm on a coleslaw kick)...it was pretty darn wonderful....  Thanks Happy Crab!

Oh, and Debbie brought an ice cream maker....good lord but homemade ice cream is a different creature!

and last but certainly not least....our traditional lobster.  Debbie makes it just the way my Grandpa did....  Steam the lobsters, lay them flat to cool, slice them open and fill with a stuffing made of crushed saltines, butter, tomalley and the coral if you get a female.  Mound the stuffing where you've cut it open and run it under the broiler.  The only thing I do a little different than Grandpa is that I like to add lemon juice to my melted butter.  Debbie abstains as she is a purist to the bone.  Side dishes?  Potato chips and cole slaw only.....  They were superb as always Debbie....

mmmmmmmm......

Lupine Mania

Random Notes from the Sandwich Life

1.  Gee, it doesn't take long to come crashing back to your regular life, does it?  Not that regular life is so bad it's just filled with things like nothing left in your checking account, cars that need to be fixed and the like.  Also, Ernie had to go in for bloodwork the afternoon we got home and then we went in for his infusion on Tuesday.  Nothing like the 'Infusion Suite' to let you know you're not on vacation any more.

2.  The boys were so happy to be home though that they almost exploded.  Dave had a late lunch ready and waiting for the guys when we got home----and even had special grilled kabobs for Ernie and me.  Really.  I mean, really...how wonderful is that? As soon as the guys finished their lunch they raced for their bikes.  Well first Leo had to bring his new Lego set inside but once he did that he shrugged his shoulders happily and said, "well, I guess I'll join the party now."  Man I love that boy.

3.  Owen was so excited to see his friends Parker and Dema that he made us drop him off at their house before we even got home.  Great line from Dema as he and Parker played with Leo and his new Lego set:  "Leo's much nicer now."  I said, "well vacation will do that for a person sometimes."  Parker looked up at me and gave a sweet little snicker.  Leo just ignored the pronouncement....

4.  This morning a crazy person told me that I reminded him of Mama Cass.  I said, 'oh thanks' because really.....what else do you say?  Of course then he also  told me he had been her neighbor for many years and had been in the next room when she choked on a sandwich.  So.....whatever.....whatever....

5.  No pay raise to look forward to this year.....I know last year's was pathetic but at least it was something. 

6.  Owen is trying to save money up for something.  I must admit I don't always listen carefully so I'm not sure what it's for but he's set on it.  The other day he asked me if he could go around the neighborhood and ask people if they had any work they would pay him to do.  I said sure but told him not to be disappointed if nobody had any work for him.  He bounced back later informing me that our kind neighbor Vicky was going to have him weed and he was going to make LOTS of money.....but first he was going to go play with friends (you have to have priorities you know).  An hour or so later he rushed in with flushed cheeks excitedly announcing that they were ALL working for Vicky----Parker and Leo and him.  He did one of his patented Owen rants saying, "This is SO great.  We're going to make LOTS of money....but I'm not just happy about the money I'm happy because we're all working together and we're friends.  It's not just about the money....it's about working together with your friends."  Then he smiled hugely, asked for a glass of water and scurried back.  Later Vicky let them swim in her pool so all in all they were positively dazed with happiness when I got home...

A couple of pictures from the trip:

 

My Soldier Owen

Well, as you can see from the last post I've come a long way from being the mother that wouldn't let her children play with guns....  Children sure can change your mind about a LOT of things, huh?

Owen takes his duties very seriously.  He has a flag taped to the door of his room and a handwritten sign about all the American soldiers that have fought for us.  Sometimes I weary of the toy guns but Owen  straightens me out.  We were walking back to the house in Maine one afternoon....it was gray and foggy and had started raining so we were heading back to some warmth and dryness.  He paused to shoot at a boat out on the water.  I sort of crossly asked why he was shooting it.  He said, "well, it's a Chinese boat and didn't they fight us in the Civil War or World War I?"  Before I could think of an appropriate response he went on, "did they surrender to us or did we surrender to them?"  As we were walking uphill and I was cold I just said, "oh, I think we just all decided to get along."  Owen nodded seriously and said, "what I just don't get about war is....well, why don't they just get some TEA...some TEA and CRACKERS?  Then they could just sit down and TALK about things.  If they decided not to be friends that would be o.k. but they wouldn't have to kill each other."  He stared up at me and I told him I thought that was brilliant and that's exactly what his Grandpa thought.  He nodded again and just kept muttering about tea and crackers all the way back to the house.

Towards the end of the visit I decided to climb down to the rocks.  It's a steep little path and I'd gone up and down it fine the whole week.  This time I decided to try some different shoes that I thought might be better on the rocks.  Dumb idea.  I immediately started to slide.  It was so steep that I would have thought I would have fallen backwards but nope....I tumbled forward and rolled down the little embankment flattening numerous plants.  Luckily I stopped before I hit the rocks but I did bang myself up a bit.  Owen had been ahead of me and when he turned at the sound of my yell he shrieked with horror, "NO MOM NO!" and raced over flinging himself on me.  As I had him help me to sit up he clung to me saying, "oh Mom, I don't EVER want to see you hurt....any time you are hurt I will be there....even if I'm in school I'll just tell Ms. Varvel that my mom is hurt and I have to go.  I will always take care of you Mom....I don't ever want you to be hurt. I love you so much Mom."  I assured him I was o.k. and he carefully escorted me over to a rock to sit down.

Later Leo came down and we told him about my fall.  He didn't say much of course but when it was time to climb back up he shadowed me saying, "uh, Mom, I think you walk over here----that looks kind of steep.  I know you think it might be o.k. but why don't you come over here" and Owen told me he thought he should carry my camera and my book.  My sweet boys.

A few days later we went for a hike at the state park next to us (utterly amazingly shockingly gorgeous---pictures to follow) and Owen wore his army backpack and filled it with bandaids, cookies, water and a sleeping bag (?).  He kept checking with us all to see if we needed a cookie yet.

All those things made me think and it made me see that for Owen...part of his fascination with being a soldier is that it fits in with the way he wants to care for people and protect people and good lord...I mean....he wants everybody to sit down with TEA and CRACKERS!  So I guess I need to lighten up a little on his gunplay and just tell him what a wonderful protector he really is.....

I am so blessed with those boys.

Tea and crackers.

D-Day Reenactment...Lubec, Maine...2006....

Here it is in all its glory.  It's a little hard to actually see Ricky and the final scene due to the fog but you get the idea.....

P.S.  I'm sure Owen is looking forward to your comments on his D-Day....

Quoddy House

Oh man am I EVER in love.....  I can't even begin to tell you how much I want to be back at Quoddy House....how MUCH I wish I were still in Lubec, Maine. When I somehow came across Lubec online a few months ago it sounded so cleansing to me to be at the edge of the ocean.....at the easternmost town in the country and it was all that and more....

Part of me wants to tell you all about it and encourage you to go there and the other part of me wants to say, "Quoddy House?  I've never heard of such a thing.....and Lubec? oh no, you'd never want to go there" just so I can keep it all to myself.  But of course it's not mine to keep to myself and I found it an incredibly special place so I must tell you a little bit about it.

I will say that the drive from our friends' home in Alfred, Maine to Lubec was indeed much longer than I had imagined even though Nancy and Michael had warned us.  Of course a drive with three boys, 7, 9 and 13, and lots of rain and fog does not make for the quickest drive no matter where you are headed.  As the roads got smaller and bumpier and I do mean bumpier we did start get a bit giggly wondering where the hell we were going but oh my....was every bit of that drive worth it.

Debbie had arrived before us so when we finally found the drive up to the house she was there waiting and smiling with gifts galore (she IS Debbie you know).  You pull up to the back of the house as it faces the water....

Now mind you, I am a sucker for old houses and this one is absolutely beautiful.  An 1830's cape on the water....it's been modernized (very nice bath and kitchen) but not overly so.  The beautiful woodwork (just LOOK at the paneling below the windows---oh and that little Greek Revival detail on the front door!) remains, the old floor is covered in some rooms but not all.  It's furnished beautifully but simply with numerous paintings and prints of the lighthouse down the road, the house itself and the surrounding area. 

Our house is roughly 100 years younger than this one but this one seems more pristine than ours----fewer layers of paint and wallpaper, it feels wonderfully cared for.

oh.....and THIS is the view from the toilet.....I kid you not.....

I always worry about houses I love so I'm so glad that the current owners have it.  Kate and Tony-----utterly wonderful.  Kate seemed like someone I would want as a friend....really lovely.....

oh, oh....and the upstairs....what heaven for those three boys.  It's set up so that it could sleep a lot of people but it's cozy just the same.  The boys took one half, with two twin beds and a double for Ricky as their sleeping area and used the other half for Lego'ing, etc.  I wish I'd taken better pictures to capture it....

No tv, for which I was thankful, no internet---which was good for me, vcr and dvd which came in handy given our weather....  In fact this is what it looked like from inside the house for a good part of the week:

but we still managed to find time to explore and enjoy.....

There's lots more I want to write....about the house, about Lubec, about the food I cooked, about lupines, about Owen's reenactment of D-Day, about the wildlife we saw.....but that's enough for now.....

can you imagine walking up from the beach to find this waiting for you?

Inheritances.....

Inheritances are a funny thing, huh?  Judi's money is primarily going to the boys but let's face it, that benefits us a great deal.....  You can't help but feel guilt as much as you feel appreciation.....  It's bittersweet.....

However there's another kind of inheritance that Judi left us...and that is her friends.  Some of her old friends----especially from Chicago---and from her time here in Champaign---I already knew.  As we went through this last wretched journey together however I met so many of her other friends....friends she met through her Buddhism, from Utah, from Iowa City, from Indiana, from Clemson and other friends and colleagues that were scattered across the country....  There is no question in my mind that one of the unexpected things about Judi's death, and the process of her dying is that I feel like I inherited so many of her friends.

Last year when we spent a week in Camp Ellis Maine, Judi told me that her friend Nancy (Richeson) who lived nearby was hoping to meet us.  We set up a time but that turned out to be the day that Ricky was sick and one of the other boys---can't remember which one now----didn't feel good either so we had to cancel.

During this last year  Nancy, who was a colleague who teaches at University of Southern Maine, was phenomenally good to Judi....sent many gifts...both for us as well as Judi....  I can't even begin to tell you----but it meant a great deal to Judi as well as to us....  In fact Nancy and Lin (another colleague and friend from North Carolina) were some of the last to visit Judi in South Carolina and help her begin to pack up house....

So this year Nancy and her husband Michael offered to put us up for the night in southern Maine, on our way to Lubec.  Generally I'm one to say,  thanks----I really appreciate it---but no thanks.  Somehow I felt differently about this though----I really wanted to meet Nancy and thank her in person, so I accepted with pleasure.

What can I say?  Lovely people.....the kind of people you feel are friends already.  A gorgeous 200 year old home-----furnished beautifully----lobsters and steamers for dinner----homemade pie for dessert----two dogs that the boys all loved----a bag of toys and games that Nancy had put together for the guys----wonderful conversation-----sparklers for the boys----blueberry pancakes and bacon for breakfast......it was amazing....and an incredibly special way to start our trip.

Much love and many thanks to Nancy and Michael.....their home will definitely go down as our favorite B & B ever!!  ....and thanks to Judi for the gift of new friends.....

3,130 Miles Later....

We are back....and never have I wanted so much NOT to come back from a vacation. 

Here are a few notes from the road:

Do you have ANY idea how often Owen has to pee?  I didn't either....

and then there was this....we made it home with the spare doughnut thing but something weird is going on in the front end of our van.....

Didn't take many pictures on the way there and back....here are a couple....

 

details to follow.....

Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone?

I'll miss you little blog.  I'll have internet access when I'm at hotels on the drive but otherwise I will have to survive without you..... 

Will you miss me? 

Here's a sweet baby faced Kieran Kane singing Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone?  Personally I'd rather hear a little more Kieran and little less Emmylou (uh-oh...is that sacrilegious?  oh well....) so I kept looking and found Spongebob singing When I Am Gone AND it has lots of footage from my favorite Spongebob episode: Band Geeks. 

Ahhhh.  Life is good. 

I hope you miss me while I'm gone....I'll miss you. 

Oh, and by the way, I think Ernie may have resuscitated the weeded tomatillo plant.....

with love,
Cynthia