Late yesterday afternoon Ernie texted me to tell me that as it turns out, the car insurance bill that was supposed to be deducted monthly from our bank account was instead deducted as one bill for six months. Now, I’m not saying it costs a fortune to insure a 1963 bug, but just the same, jesus freaking Christ. This caused a slight panic. I decided to do our taxes so could know what refund we have coming in. I tapped and entered everything and it finally told me we were getting $34 back. I completely lost it, yelling for Ernie to turn down the music and get me a glass of wine. He assured me that it had to be a mistake and as I went through everything I eventually did find where I had clicked the wrong thing. My stomach hurt like hell at this point. We sat and played music loudly and I eventually threw a steak, potato, and kale hash together…skipping the Blue Apron instructions for whatever it was supposed to be. We stared stupidly at the tv for a while. We’ve been watching a lot of Acorn TV and I’m starting to imagine myself living in a small eccentric British village. Eventually I gave in, stole some cough drops from Leo, and went to bed.
This morning Hattie woke me up meowing but refusing to come curl up with me. I don’t know what she wanted. I grabbed my phone, looked at the time, and then poked around a little bit on Facebook. I got up, grabbed some clean underwear from the drawer and padded downstairs, dropping the phone on the ottoman, and talking to Ernie about Rascal’s triumphant victory over the mouse he’s been hunting for some time, about the fact I’m almost out of iced tea, and, of course, how broke we are. I went into the bathroom and when I came out Ernie said, “Uh, Cynthia. Your phone just said, “Cynthia, do you know you are live?”
I was so horrified I couldn’t even answer, just tapping at my phone hysterically. I got it turned off. I pulled up the Facebook page on my computer and the first frame of the Facebook Live video was a shot of my bedroom ceiling. I paused and thought about whether I wanted to see my humiliation, or just delete immediately. I went with delete immediately. I wrote my friend and said (THANK YOU MEG) and said, “Bless you. I shudder to think what you saw.” She kindly assured me that it hadn’t been too bad and the sound was off.
This is how my day started.