It's just as well I didn't attempt my final Hail Mary pass rescheduling of today's appointments in order to try to make it to Nashville for the Dead Reckoners reunion in honor of Savannah Welch tonight, because the over two hours we spent at a doctor appointment today would have blown it all to hell anyway. Please note that I think I just made a sport reference in my first sentence too. Thank you very much.
The whole two long hours seemed vaguely like a comedy of errors. We walked into Oral Surgery and whispered to each other about where we were supposed to check in. Someone heard us and told us we were in the right place. Ok. Then we tried to check in and were told we were in the wrong place. Ok. So we trotted over to where we were supposed to check in. The woman told us to wait so she could check if everything was ok with our appointment. Ok. Then she told us we were checked in but to go back to where we had just been to check in there. Ok. So we went and tried to check in again and the person told us we were checked but to go back out to the waiting area. Ok.
We waited about 15-20 minutes and then a nurse brought us into the office and tried to get a history. She was great and very nice. She said it had been easy to get her three year old up today because she just told him it was snowing. Ernie nodded understandingly because I'm much easier to get up on snowy days too. She pulled out the folder with our referral and held up a disk and asked what it was. I just said, "I didn't know" because HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW? I didn't hand it to her, she pulled it out of a folder. Is this a trick? Then she started asking all sorts of questions about when Ernie'd been on this drug or that drug or when he had such and such procedure done. I kind of thought when we were referred that they would have sent some of that information over. Is that naive? Then she told us that we would see a resident first and then the doctor and we could tell them apart because the residents were in scrubs and the doctor was in street clothes. Honestly, it was a helpful thing to tell us but it still made me giggle for some reason.
The resident (in scrubs) came in and proceeded to ask more questions. I found myself looking on this blog and doing searches on gums and jaws and periodontist. Not so helpful. I apologized for being vague and told him I had assumed that Ernie's records would be sent over. He told us it's hard to send records and our best record is ourselves. Live and learn. Yes, live and FUCKING LEARN once again. I swear to God I never agreed to this being an adult stuff. How many damn times can one LIVE AND FUCKING LEARN? Anyway, then he held up the disc and asked us what it was. I said, "I don't know," because HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW? RIGHT? Then he tried to find a computer that would let him open up the disc. Back and forth several times. Then the doctor stuck his head in (we knew it was the doctor because...street clothes) and said he'd be in soon. I sat and looked at the clock, looked at the x-ray (oh yeah, Ernie got at x-ray at some point in there) and looked at Ernie. Ernie started to get giggly. Finally, some 84 minutes after our appointment time the doctor came in and not even an insincere apology for the wait. Ok....but here's the good part. I really liked him. And after so much time and so many vague questions he was quick and sharp and smart. Thank God. He examined Ernie and asked a few questions. Left to go look at the disc (omfg) came back and said, "I'm a surgeon and so usually I do surgery but I don't think this makes sense right now." Hallelujah. He said it sounded like we'd done some research (not sure why, because I knew the word osteonecrosis? Maybe he could just smell it on me) and I said I knew my way around Google. Most doctors don't like that but he said it was good. Hallelujah again. I said I thought surgery was the last thing he needed right now with this condition and he said, "Exactly." Ok, I'm really liking this guy. He is putting Ernie on heavier duty antibiotics and probiotics so the antibiotics don't kill him and we'll go back in a week after Ernie gets a full CT scan of his jaw. He told us the resident would walk us out. Oh, and he apologized for making us wait. Ok.
Then the resident came in once or twice and finally said, "I'll just go click the button and then I'll walk you out." He left and I asked Ernie what the hell 'click the button' meant. Ernie just kept chuckling because really, what the hell else can you do? So Resident A (whom I liked...Resident B we only saw briefly) walked us out to the check out desk and talked to the person that had checked us in one or two times earlier depending on your interpretation of events. They went back and forth about scheduling and whether requests were marked stat and then he left. Then the scheduling person had to get an insurance authorization so she sent us to yet another holding area (waiting room). My phone was long dead by this time so I grabbed Ernie's phone and texted my colleagues that I was indeed alive and should make my scheduled meeting. Stressed out scheduling woman called us back in while she talked to other scheduling person. They did not come to an agreement. She got more stressed because at this point the doctor and the residents were ALL AT LUNCH so there was no one to ask. Eventually she came up with an alternate plan, printed our paperwork and sent us on our way. We walked outside and Ernie said, "Look Cynthia, we were in there so long that spring has come."
Sometimes these things just take it out of me.