The Sandwich Life

Scenes from my weekend

Good weekend overall.  Lots of gardening and a fair amount of art.  My dad, well.....my dad makes me sad.  He wandered all over their house the other day, looking in every room, trying to find where they keep the cans of soup they eat for lunch.  He had a bad fall this morning, tripped over the cat.  He seemed to be o.k. but he's slower then ever...and quieter.  He looked really handsome at church this morning.  If he weren't so bent over and moving so slow you'd never guess he wasn't perfectly well.  He still doesn't look his age really.  His hair is finally all gray but far from white. When I sit with him at church is when I think about things so sometimes I cry.

But as I said, overall the weekend was good.  What would I do without my sweet peas? Here is Owen with his "the sky is raining marshmallows" work at the Saturday Art School exhibition Saturday morning:

Leo and Ernie planting the all important carrot garden later that day:

Columbine via our old house via my parents' yard in Lisle, via their next door neighbor Beverly Fiore via her mothers' house in Kentucky.  I love how gardens connect people.

The guys working on their gardens.  Of course they planted things way too close and things that might not work there but I want it to be their garden so I try to stand back and let them do what they like.  It's not always easy but I must say I was impressed with the definite plans they---they'd obviously been thinking about it all!!!

Leo getting his hair washed:

My favorite part of the weekend was Saturday evening at dusk. It had gotten cool so we all wrapped up in blankets and watched the bats---we saw four of them!  It felt so good so cuddle closely and shriek with excitement as we saw another bat.  So despite some sadness, it was a good weekend.  I hope all of your weekends were good too.

Farmboys

Look what Ernie snagged at the WILL Vintage Vinyl sale for only a quarter......an official Farmboys cassette.  Adam Schmitt and Don Gerard in the same band, and Steve Scariano producing.....life is good, huh?

My Generation

Oh, I love my friend Van Cagle for sending this to me. Thanks Van.

Random Notes from ARTNITE

1.  To start things off, I came home from a long day (long week this week) and pulled into our alley.  There was a pick up parked at the end but there was room for me to pull into our miniscule driveway.  So I pulled up and the guy jumped in his truck at the same time and backed up without looking.  I managed to hit my horn but BOOM.  The van is fine, but it was hard enough to really shake me up and I must say I ache a bit today.

2.  So then I go to ARTNITE where I am volunteering at the refreshment table.  Let me just say that I think if I worked in a restaurant I would be one of the people spitting in customer's food.  People just annoy the hell out of me.  Kids and parents alike coming up to the table and, with a look of revulsion on their face, asking if we have tooth picks for the cheesecubes.  Or looking at a heaping bowl of gorgeous strawberries and looking disgusted while asking how they were supposed to pick them up.  What is with people being so afraid to touch food that they are going to put in their own mouths?  Other looked at me blankly and asked if we had plates.  NO---maybe you're supposed to take a damn strawberry and move---not fill up a dinner plate!  grrr.  Now granted, other people were kind and gracious but just the same, it's a good thing I DON'T work in a restaurant....

3.  Being the mother of a first grader, it seems like the question de rigeur is "so, is your child going to be in the gifted program next year?"  I had several people ask me that yesterday (and I'm not talking about close friends who ask me and talk about it---that is good and actually helpful).  But for people you don't know, how is this a polite question?  Especially when their response is, "oh, that's too bad. I was hoping to meet some of my daughter's classmates."  Irritate the shit out of me.  Then stand there and don't do a damn thing to help me, which is what you're supposed to be doing.  Grrr.  I have really, really struggled with this issue of the gifted program.  Leo's teacher had told me that she would be very surprised if he didn't get in and not to worry about it.  He tested extremely high on the first round of tests.  The second tests---very erratic.  I have to admit that I was absolutely devastated when he didn't get in.  I've been struggling because I'm trying to figure out if this is about me or about him.  What breaks my heart is that some of his best friends did get in and I'm worried about how that will affect him.  And of course, he's the guy that constantly says school is boring and does his homework in a flash.  When I told his teacher that she said, "oh, I'm sure this is boring for him."  So I'm trying to come to terms with this but then I find out that others have complained and had their kids retested.....so now I feel I should do that but I'm a lousy complainer other than here on my blog.  The whole thing just makes me sick to my stomach and brings me to tears and it all somehow makes me feel like a lousy parent.   I swear to god this is the same feeling I had when I struggled trying to breastfeed him and his pediatrician finally just told me to stop.  I feel like I'm letting him down. I'm not doing everything I can for him.  I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

4.  O.K. on to a more cheerful note.....Ernie had called the other day to say that one of Leo's  drawings was on the door of the school with a sign for ARTNITE.  Leo was incredibly proud.  That same day he had brought in another drawing he had done and said it was for ARTNITE.  So last night after we saw the drawing on the door (I know he looks kind of sullen but given that he normally won't allow pictures this actually shows him jumping with joy):

and then his penguin:

Then he wanted to find his other drawing.  So we traipsed throughout the school, into corridors that weren't set up for ARTNITE with me trailing behind trying to tell Leo that I'm sure they couldn't put up everything that kids brought in.....when Ernie all of a sudden said "ah HAH" and bounded up some steps.  There was Leo's train picture....

Leo's face lit up.  We all admired it for awhile and then with great solemnity he marched downstairs and confidently said, "I. AM. AN. ARTIST."

What's better than that?

6.  Owen LOVED helping me at the refreshment table and let's just say he actually helped unlike some others. When we were walking home, Owen contentedly munched on strawberries and said, "I'm sure glad you worked at the bar stand Mom."

Somewhere By the Crazy River

Remember that Robbie Robertson song from the late 80's?  The lyrics are sort of spoken and he says "this is sure stirring up some ghosts for me."  Well my ghosts were definitely stirred up yesterday as I had to spend a couple of hours at my old jobplace.  Luckily I saw some people I like and miss but the whole thing left me sleepless the night before and exhausted afterward.  It makes me realize how much happier I am now though so I guess it wasn't all bad.  A little self assessment is a good thing at times. SOMETIMES.

In other news, when Ernie went to pick  Owen up from preschool yesterday his teacher told him that Owen had been acting up a bit and so she told him if he didn't stop she would have to talk to his Dad.  Owen looked at  her and thought and then said, "Could you tell my Mom instead?"  Always thinking, that boy....

Random Notes from the Sandwich Life

1.  Last night we forgot to feed our children.  This is not good.  I got home a bit after five and they arrived from Owen's soccer soon after.  I was all excited about getting my plants in the ground as it was going to rain last night.  The boys were wound up and running around the yard playing.  Ernie and I were planning to grill a steak later.  We had some nice baby bok choy to go with it.   Soon it was 7:00 and time for Gilmore Girls.  Then we went back outside and soon the guys began asking for various foods.  At first I just said, "oh, it's too late to make something like that" and then oops, I realized I had never fed them.  Plants really shouldn't take priority over your children.  So we did feed them but they were up rather late.  I stir fried some shrimp and napa cabbage for us as I was too tired to start grilling.  The best laid plans.....

2.  The sight of Leo's face when he saw birds eating from his birdfeeder for the first time more than made up for his recent stubbornness.  He's trying to keep a chart of how many birds he sees eat from it each day.  This could be tricky but Leo is up to it I'm sure.  When he saw a cardinal at his birdfeeder I thought he might burst.

3.  I planted two kinds of rosemary, lots of basil and parsley, pineapple mint, lovage, oregano and we relocated some chives, thyme and sage.  We also planted our tomatoes (Brandywines, German Pink, Mexican  Midget and Yellow Pear) from Seedsavers. We still need to get some pepper plants and a few more herbs but with our space that's about all we can squeeze in...well except for the flowers of course!  Leo will have his carrot garden and he is planning purple and purple/white petunias and sunflowers for his garden.  I'm not quite sure what Owen has in mind yet.  Probably sunflowers and some blue flowers.

4.  Busy week this week with work events, Dr.Howard ARTNITE, Artists Against Aids, Saturday Art School exhibition, another damn birthday party and then my Sunday stuff.  I'm happiest when I'm just sitting in my front yard looking at my garden, waiting for dusk to come so we can all watch for the bats to come out, talking about random things and holding a sweet pea on my lap.

Ornamental Grass Giveaway

We did a fair amount of work in the yard this weekend. We (well, actually Ernie did most of it but I supervise very well) moved some plants and divided some of our ornamental grasses.  They are several years old and had gotten so big that they flopped over in rain or snow.  We are short on sun in our yard so I don't have anyplace for some of the divisions.  Anybody interested?  If you are from Champaign or Urbana and need some, let me know. They are already dug up so need to be planted soon. The divisions are probably the same size as when we bought them and they go for $20 or more at that size.  First post/email, first serve.  I have several of both that you see in the pictures below from last September. Oh, and I have sedum (it's Autumn Joy sedumn, in the front of the second picture) to give away too.

In other gardening news, we went to Prairie Gardens and spent way too much money. Leo picked out some flowers for his garden and was intent on getting a bird feeder.  He can't wait until the birds start eating the bird seed.  Here he is pointing out the location to Ernie:

And here it is in all its glory....come on birds.....

No blood was spilled...

I was 25 minutes late for work today because I had to take time out to murder my eldest son. 

Over the weekend he had announced that it was TV Turn Off Week.  O.K., I'm not going to argue, so sure, it's TV Turn Off Week.  Evidently they'd been talking about this in school. However what sounded like a good idea to Leo yesterday did not exactly resonate in a positive way with him this morning.....  This morning in fact he was so wounded by not being able to watch a cartoon while he ate breakfast that indeed, he did not eat any breakfast, or drink any liquid, or do anything but lay in a blanket covered lump on the couch and refuse to get dressed and go to school.  Now, how exactly not going to school gets you TV I don't know.  I stayed pretty restrained and was MUCH NICER TO HIM THAN HE DESERVED.  grrrr.  We told him calmly that we would pack away his train if he wouldn't go to school.  His response was a measured look and "for how long?"  "TIL CHRISTMAS" we said.  Then he said, "well, it's not working right anyway" so I assured him that Daddy would fix the god damn train if he would just put  his clothes on.  Then he said he couldn't go because he'd be late.  O.K.  I must admit.....I did yell then.  I couldn't help it.  Because quietly commenting that it was his own damn fault just would not have felt nearly as good.

sigh.

He finally stomped (and I mean stomped) into the bathroom, slammed the door and then stomped back out and out of the house, his little backpack and lunch box quivering with rage.

What does not kill me makes me stronger.

HA.

What does not kill me makes me tired.  That's MY version.

Man I love my sweet pea though.  I just hurt for him when he's so angry against nothing and everything.  And I worry about Owen who is busy crouching behind me whispering suggestions into my ear, "maybe you should tell him if he gets dressed and goes to school you'll buy vanilla wafers" or "maybe you should tell him you'll get him doughnuts."

My sweet peas.

And I gotta say, if he thinks I'm skipping the Gilmore Girls tomorrow night he's crazy.....

The Benefits of Blogging

As I've mentioned here before, one of the unexpected benefits of blogging has been reconnecting with old friends.  I am not particularly skilled at keeping in touch with friends so this has been a real treat.  This Saturday was a case in point-----Nancy Baym was in town, and as we've been keeping in touch via our blogs for the past few months, we got our families together.  What a wonderful way to have a lazy Saturday brunch....  Her boys are beautiful, blonde and bright and were pronounced by my guys to be 'awesome' and it's always such a pleasure to find that you really like a friend's spouse!

In some ways I find myself thinking, "how the hell did Nancy Baym get so grown up?" but then I realize that I'm grown up too.  Amazing.

A wonderful day.  Thanks blog.

Irritation

I'm irritated with my children.  I'm irritated with my husband.  I'm irritated with myself for not feeling good.  I'm irritated with my job for having so much for me to do right now.  I'm irritated with my mother.  I'm irritated with the school.  I'm irritated with my life and I'm really irritated with my father's car because the fucking horn doesn't work and I really needed it for someone that was irritating me this morning.