The Sandwich Life

Random Notes from the Sandwich Life

1.  Ernie and I are almost like sad children the day after Christmas....except that the glow of the party is hanging on enough to keep us going.

2.  Today is Leo's LAST day of being 8....tomorrow is his birthday.  Do I have any birthday gifts yet?  Nope.  Do I have his party figured out yet?  Nope.  Is he HAVING a party?  I guess so.  HE seems to think so.  I don't think he'll go for the whole 'gee Kane Welch Kaplin was really for your birthday Leo" thing.  Oh well.

3.  One more dark video clip below.  They aren't as dark before I upload them to youtube...hmmmm.  Then my damn memory card filled up and I didn't even get one of my beloved Kieran Kane songs.  Gotta hunt down one of our guests that had a camera and see what he got....

4.  Owen is very proud of introducing the band the other night.  He told me that he thinks Kevin said that he did a great job 'because probably when grown ups do it they think it's a bigger deal than it is and they talk too long.'  I just stared at him and said, "Owen, please do not EVER tell me again that you are not smart because you are one of the smartest guys I know."

5.  Judi started chemo yesterday...didn't hear from her last night....I'm going to try to get hold of her today.  Please send her prayers and thoughts and songs and practices.....

6.  Tonight I actually do not have anything to do after work (other than buy Leo a birthday present) and I can't wait to sit outside in the yard with Ernie and watch the boys run around the field.  That is what is going to get me through this day.

Important Party Update!

a complaint has been filed.....

It was MATT who ordered pizza for the kids....not Dave!

I love you Matt....

Saturday Night....

Look at this.  Excuse the darkness and just look at it.  It's Kane Welch Kaplin playing in my friggin living room. 

Amazing....

This might be one of the songs that made us cry....I'm not sure.  What I do know is that they made Ernie's heart light...and my heart light....and that is all I wanted.  They made us remember how wonderful so many things in our life are.  Fuck bile duct cancer, fuck prostate cancer, fuck alzheimer's, fuck spinal stenosis and old age....they may cause us  pain but there is also great joy in our lives; our boys, our families, our friends and most definitely our music as well.

To love this music so and then to love the people that make it is very special.  It doesn't always work like that.  Small living rooms in Central Illinois are not Kane Welch Kaplin's usual venue suffice to say....and the fact that they kindly agreed to do this is something for which I will be forever grateful.

People at the party varied from those already hardcore Kane Welch Kaplins fans to those that knew we were having music but had no idea who they were....  I have been reveling in the response from everyone because one of the things we really wanted to do was to SHARE this music with those that love us.  So having people say the music was transcendent or was the best concert they'd ever been to (thank you Chloe) or want to know how to get a cd---those things thrill us to the core.  Ernie has spent a lot of time over the last fifteen years telling people about these guys and playing their music for them and the other night all he had to do was sit back and let them play....

Thank you Kieran, Kevin, Fats and Lucas.  Thank you with all of our heart....

I actually don't have many pictures because I was too busy having a good time but here are a few....

It's hard to know....

It's hard to know what to say about our party last night.  Judi called to complain that I hadn't posted about it yet and I said, "but it's too soon....I need to process it."  You can't argue with a big sister though so I will make the first of multiple posts no doubt.

Here's a picture at the end of the night.  I hate pictures of myself but I love everyone else in the picture so much that I don't care.

l to r: Owen, Lucas Kane, me, Kevin Welch, Fats Kaplin, Kieran Kane and Ernie

Right now I keep thinking about all the people that helped make the night special. 

The band, obviously...it's such a treat to love their music passionately and then also like them as people as well.  They are really lovely men.

Mark Rubel, of Pogo Studios, and Jonathan Pines, of Private Studios, for lending the equipment

Kent Whitesell, for stepping in at the last minute and helping us figure out what to DO with all the equipment

Jeff, for stepping in and helping me with the last couple of hours of kitchen stuff----saving me when I was feeling tired and frazzled and making me laugh

Gail, for cutting flowers for me and arranging them

My sister Debbie, for sending me a HUGE, gorgeous bouquet of flowers (in the perfect colors for my dining room I might note)

Judi, for being with me in spirit every step of the way

Dave, for taking care of the fire in the front yard and ordering pizza for the huge group of kids that swarmed around his porch

The four friends who are bartenders at the Esquire, Mike, Tom, Mary and Amy, who all went in and brought us a keg of Bass and a case of Chardonnay...

Kim Cochrane, the only woman I will EVER know who, two days before she is going to have twins, would carve a Happy 20th pumpkin for me....

Sydney, Ann, Rob, Ann's Mom, Mel and everyone else who brought food

Fats' wife, Kristi Rose, for being so charming when they got here that I started to relax

Dennis, for leaving that great comment on the post before this

Kathleen, for bringing a cool tub filled with ice

All the people that brought cards and gifts and wine and beer.

Ann and Boo for cleaning up everything at the end of the night

Owen, for introducing the band perfectly.  It went something like this and I'm SORRY Debbie, but no I didn't get it on tape...  "Hello, thanks for coming.  Kane Welch Kaplin is coming right up so get ready for some great music."  He was rather pleased with himself. This was an improvement over the night before when as he was practicing he kept calling them MCCAIN Welch Kaplin....

Leo, for preparing activities for the kids.  Here's a sign  he posted above a Lego playing station:

I know there are more people to thank but that's all I can come up with right now.  Note to self:  next time you have a party...remember to EAT as well as drink.

But most of all....thanks to Ernie for being the whole reason for this all....

Getting Ready....

Still lots to do but a care package from Amy last night sure made it all seem more doable....  I love this blog and the friends I find through it....

Wish me luck today guys!!

I kid you not....

I kid you not....I just got back from the emergency room.  My mother woke up at 3 a.m. with a bad reaction and chest pains and nausea....finally used her little Lifeline wrist button to call for the paramedics.  I was sound asleep---didn't even hear the phone....Ernie woke me up and told me they had called to say the paramedics had been called.  We tried calling my mom-no answer. Called the ER--no sign of her yet.  So I zoomed over to her house expecting to see ambulances, etc.  Not a sign....I went in the house and she wasn't there so I got back in the car, turned around and headed back to the hospital.  I found my mom sitting up in bed but looking rather pale.  Suffice to say....several hours later and wonderful care from our neighbor Greg the ER doc.....she is fine and back home.  Her EKG and heart enzyme test came back fine so who knows.  I'm glad she went in though even though....I gotta say.....I am TIRED.

I just came home to shower and change so I can head into work.

I feel a little numb.

This certainly puts worrying about the party and sound equipment for the band, etc. all into perspective.

Thank you all for the kind messages, thoughts and prayers about Judi.

Let's just see if I can get through the rest of this day....

oh

Well...Judi saw her doctor today and it was not great news.  We didn't expect GREAT news but just the same it was worse than expected.  If I understand her correctly, he does not expect her to go into remission again, albeit perhaps very shortly.  She will start chemo again on Monday and when it stops working then the expectancy would be something like three months.

It's funny.....I never expected to be without my sister.

You know....when Ernie was diagnosed in 2004 I was pretty devastated.  The boys were only two and four years old and I was terrified of losing Ernie. Although it was not at all rational I developed this picture in my mind....if I lost Ernie, the boys and I would move into the lower level of Judi's house.  I laid in bed figuring it all out.  Judi's sewing room off the guest bedroom would be the boys' room, we'd get a stove for the little kitchenette, my cupboard would go here, this would go there....I figured it all out.  Now mind you...this is totally crazy because if I somehow were to lose Ernie or he were to lose me, the other would stay right in this house with our boys and do fine...well, at least get by...you know what I mean.

Even though that whole plan was irrational it just shows how much of a support and a refuge Judi is for me.  I hope I can be the same for her. I'm here Judi.....and I love you.....

Random Notes from the Sandwich Life

1.  O.K....I've got a frigging cold. Can NOT believe it.  Oh well...hopefully I'll feel better by Saturday.  We're  moving into the pre-party state where you start crossing things off your list and saying, "oh, no way is THAT getting done."  Uhhhhh.....guess we're not painting our porch or our screen door....guess we're not reframing and framing some various pieces of artwork, etc.......

2.  This morning Owen demonstrated some dance moves learned in school.  Leo said, "Owen...that's RUSSIAN dancing."  I asked Leo if he did that and he looked at my in disbelief and said, "NO, of course not."  I can't help myself...he just makes me giggle.  I gave him a hug and told him he looked handsome and as he sweetly hugged me back he said, "I DON'T care."  That's my boy.

3.  Yesterday Owen said to a neighbor, "So who are you going to vote for president in the election?"  She said, "well Owen, we lean a little to the right" and he replied, "well, we're voting for Obama and we have a sign in our yard!"  She said, "I  saw that."  I don't know why that exchange amuses me so but it does.  If he keeps this up I'll have to explain that it's not polite to ask someone directly because for some people it's private.  He's so easily wounded and ready to think he's done something wrong though that I'll let it go for now.  That boy is amazing though...absolutely amazing.  You should see him with my Mom....double checking that her wheelchair is locked in place...one of his new worries is if the food we give her is o.k. for her teeth.  He is so caring that one....and funny...just damn funny....

4.  Judi goes to her oncologist for the official results of her biopsy this morning.  She's having a tough time.  Of course.

5.  We're still trying to track down a stand alone CD burner so we can record the show at our party.  Any ideas?

September evening...

Man, I love September.  The way it is still warm during the day but cools off at night and it begins to smell like fall.  The way just a few trees start to change.  I love it.  Tonight we are officially taking it easy.  So what if we're having a million people over in just a few days.  I, and I can't believe I'm admitting this but I am, am getting a cold.  No fucking way you say?  I tried that too...didn't seem to have an impact.  Ernie is dosing me with Zicam and I'm being philosophical about it.

So even though I'm a little stuffed up I can still smell the second day of fall.  I'm sitting here in  my front yard, drinking some wine and watching videos on youtube.

I hope your evening is as pleasant as mine....

God and computers

I'm not sure that Owen is impressed with my knowledge of the world....

Yesterday while I was taking a shower and Owen was getting dressed on the other side of the shower curtain because God forbid I have any privacy...Owen said, "what is water? I mean I know it's a liquid but where did the first drop of water come from?"  I just wasn't up for a conversation about hydrogen and oxygen so I said, "why don't you ask Mrs. Varvel that?" and he replied, "I THOUGHT you'd say that." 

The other day he was saying something about his Aunt Debbie and he thoughtfully mused, "Aunt Debbie knows a lot about God, where he lives and things like that."  Then I guess he thought I might be hurt because he said, "that's o.k. Mommy, you know a lot about computers."