This blog has brought about many unexpected benefits....a few unexpected disasters as well...but primarily benefits. One of them is the comfort I find in rereading old posts. I don't know that comfort is the right word....but I find it very...mmmm...centering. Looking back at where we were a year ago, two years ago.....it helps to put things into perspective. Today is my mother's birthday. She would have been 82. Last night Owen asked me if I missed her a lot. I told him I missed her every single day and he apologized for making me sad. I told him it was o.k. to be sad because it just showed how much we loved her and we were very lucky to have had that love. He nodded seriously and patted my arm.
As he often does, he made me think. I thought back at how our lives have changed. I reread some entries from September of each year here. As I read them I could see the path that has led to who I am right now...this age, this person, this philosphy, this life. Me.
A year ago we were starting to get back into a more normal schedule....dealing with Ernie's cancer returning but without the weight of worry and caring for my parents and my sister. Two years ago we were dealing with my mother's decline and the accumulation of vehicles and other things we had inherited. Three years ago we had just found out that Judi's cancer had returned and that she was not expected to go into remission again. Four years ago I was beginning the trips to South Carolina as my sister was diagnosed with bile duct cancer. Five years ago we were seeing my father really start to move into the cloud of Alzheimer's and were worried about caring for them.
Five pretty long years....although they have gone by quickly in other ways.
Thanks blog....you've helped me through them....and Happy Birthday Mom.