The Sandwich Life

Chemo, an MRI and some food

Well, Rome burns and I just keep focusing on my own corner of the world. When I say Rome burns, I'm not referring to any of the looting, etc...I'm just referring to our society and this frightening divisiveness. I pray some good will come out of it. The peaceful protests have been glorious.

I must say, when I think of George Floyd what my mind always goes to is him calling, "Mama." That really gets me, even more than, "I can't breathe," as horrific as that is. I remember when my sister Judi was dying, the last couple of nights she was still conscious she would call out, "Mom, Mom." I would go to her and comfort her and she would remember where she was and that it was me. That innate yearning for their mother as they near death though....that just tears at me.

So, Rome burns and we scurry about. Yesterday was chemo. I don't sleep well the night before those. We both kind of dread those days. The neuropathy in his feet is horrendous so they are switching him to an oral chemo (assuming we can get it improved by the insurance company). I guess that's good if it will make him more comfortable but it feels as though we zoomed through a treatment option pretty quickly. Eh, I don't know. He just had an MRI this morning. Got switched at the last minute to 7 am..ugh. Now he's home and xanaxed and glad it's over.

I couldn't go to either one with him although I saw Vasireddy with him. Then he heads us to the infusion suite and I head for the car. We can't even kiss each goodbye as we're masked. We kind of bump heads. I hate leaving him although it's starting to seem more normal.

I'm trying to keep up with my work while still allowing me time to watch My Kitchen Rules for a frightening number of hours a day.

And just for some color...a few pictures.

Bob, in his evening position

Fjord Trout with herb vinaigrette, over greens and avocado.

Leftover for breakfast.


The way to make leftover frozen pizza taste 25 times better? Drizzle it with a thick, herby vinaigrette.

Onward.

The Mighty Bob

Ernie's birthday was a lovely day. Thanks so much for all the kind words and wishes and gifts. You made him feel loved and there's nothing better than that.

All five of us (Ernie, Leo, Owen, me, and Trinity) squeezed onto the couch in the media room in the afternoon and watched A Mighty Wind. You just haven't fully lived until you've watched that with Ernie and the guys. They absolutely roar throughout the whole thing. Later we had dinner all together. My curried oven-fried chicken wasn't as good as usual but nobody cared. We laughed and were loud and it felt good. Trinity is the only one that doesn't curse me when I try to take a picture.

Yesterday I was super busy with work but I finally curled up on the couch with Ernie and the cats. Bob was wedged in next to Ernie as per usual. Ernie started fooling around with him. He grabbed his paw and put it up to his hand said, "Give me a high five, Bob." He did that twice and then he put his palm out to Bob and as God is my witness, Bob raised his paw and gave him a high five. I screamed with laughter so loudly that I terrified Bob and he darted out of the room. Ernie and I laughed and laughed and laughed. I can't even think of the last time we have laughed that hard. Bob eventually came back but worked hard to retain his dignity and refused any further attempts at high fives.

Oh, Bob.

Here he is, post performance.

Onward.

Happy Birthday to My Love

It is my beautiful boy's birthday today. I could not possibly love him more. Our life has had its challenges, as all lives do, but we got lucky. We got the BIG LOVE as my friend Renee says. Here are the two of us in mmm, maybe 1983.

We both were a bit blue yesterday but thanks for the kind words. These are hard times for everybody as we try to figure out where we are and what we can do next in all the various aspects of our life and our society. It sort of feels like a new kind of sandwich life again as we deal with stress in our personal life and the stress (and more) in our society. 

Regardless, yesterday, we perked up. We ordered some wine from Binny's and wondered why they didn't get back to us. Whoops...turned out they were still closed after being broken into on Sunday. We went elsewhere got some wine and snacks and sat and watched more My Kitchen Rules. I made the potato salad for today and of course, he had to try it out. Amazing how happy potato salad can make a boy. My sweet pea. The original sweet pea.

Owen was at his girlfriend's and Leo was up in his room and as we cooked dinner it reminded me of us cooking dinner together before the boys were born. I don't know why. We cook dinner just the two of us plenty these days but somehow it made me think of those days. It was when we lived in Chicago, in Rogers Park, that I really started to enjoy cooking. I started buying cookbooks...oh, remember the days of the cookbook clubs? I would buy both the Tribune and the Sun-Times on Wednesdays (or was it Thursday) for the food sections. In the days before the internet the food sections were required reading. When we moved down here to Champaign we lived in an ugly little ranch house in Centennial Park and that when we really started cooking together. Cooking out of our Rick Bayless cookbook...the Cuban cookbook Ernie got me after we won the Mavericks trip to Miami. Exploring all sorts of food. We missed the food markets in Chicago but we had a garden for the first time.

Dinner last night was some chicken legs from Triple S Farms. Their stuff is so beautiful. We marinated them in lemon zest, lemon juice (two lemons), a good 2 tablespoons of thyme leaves, 2 tablespoons olive oil, and then salt and pepper for about an hour and a half and then just roasted them at 375 for a bit over an hour. Oh, and I sprinkled the rest of the thyme branches over them. They were ridiculously good. Sometimes I tend use my go-to spices like smoked paprika or cumin, or Asian seasonings too much. This tasted so wonderfully simple and fresh. We had some pretty little carrots that I overcooked a bit, oh well, as well as some spinach. It was a good, simple dinner and I felt like it centered us.

Potato salad and oven-fried curried chicken thighs, per request, for the birthday dinner.

Onward!

Oh, and happy birthday to Ian Hunter too ❤️

 

I look at Bob and wish I had a box too. We all need a box.

The world, well, this country in particular, becomes more frightening and heartbreaking every day. I look at the boys and shake my head and tell them I don't understand how this can be our country. But it is. Is this the ripping off of the bandaid? Maybe. Can we find a positive way out? I don't know. I fear for my boys and can't imagine the fear I would have if they were black.

I have a knot in my stomach about everything...from the state of the world, to Owen's missing wallet, to chemo again on Monday after a round that was a bit harder for Ernie this time. It's his birthday tomorrow and it's hard for him to feel celebratory in any way. He has been so strong through all this but sometimes it just hits. 

I'm trying. I'm making potato salad today as it's always better the next day and it's one of his favorite things on earth. I got him signed up for Robyn Hitchcock's Patreon and ordered several records he'd been wanting. It's not as though we ever do big birthday celebrations generally (well, except for CynthiaFest and Hardly Strictly Ernie I suppose) but it's hard to make this one seem celebratory. Just hard.

Onward.