I have the Amy Rigby book sitting on my mantel. I am reading it VERY slowly because I want it to last a long time. On Thanksgiving when Teri came in she glanced at it twice and laughed telling me she thought it was an old picture of me. I laughed too and told her I was flattered. Then I turned at looked at Nick sitting next to me and said, "but I had my moments, didn't I?" Nick has the best smile and chuckle, and he just that before saying, "You sure did, you sure did."
What a lovely holiday it has been. Thanksgiving with loved ones was great. Granted, the carbs and the dairy just about killed me, but some of them were worth it (tourtiere forever) and it always acts of a bit of a wake-up call. Of course, all that being said, I just had bacon and eggs for breakfast. God, Ernie's good at that. Last night we made our way to our beloved Teri's house for a birthday/bake-off/music celebration. Of course, I couldn't eat any of the baked goods but it was wonderful watching folks win awards with much laughter and yelling. And is it any surprise that Ann's famous brownies, which she insisted weren't an entry, won a prize, or that a pie by Boo did as well? Music by Brandon T. Washington, Brian kept me supplied with appetizers I could eat and chardonnay. It was perfect. I was utterly exhausted from a sleepless night so I left earlier than I would have normally, but it was a perfect celebration. Look, here's the birthday girl. Nothing makes her happier than her house filled with friends, food, and music.
Right now, Ernie and I are being lazy. He's watching a movie; I'm fussing on the computer. I should do a bit of work but it just might have to wait until tomorrow. Ernie and I are finally going to get a tree today. We were going to go yesterday but it was SUCH a good day to stay inside... This will be the first year we get a tree without the boys. It makes me a little sad but Leo is swamped with schoolwork and has worked all weekend and Owen didn't seem to care. Leo thoughtfully considered it, but finally said to go without him. He DID put his foot down on putting up the mantel Christmas trees. He firmly stated that we could NOT do it this week as he's too busy and we are NOT allowed to do it without him. You have no idea how that warmed my heart. My sweet 20-year-old boy (MAN) insisting we can't put them up without him. Oh, my heart. I will gladly put it off a week to be able to do it as a family.
If the planets align we plan to go see Silverweed at the Rose Bowl. An early show too! Oh, and popcorn. 🍿
Oh, and last but not least, my phone case arrived in the mail. Um, just a bit too late. Sigh.
I've been so busy that I haven't been writing as much. Even when I'm not busy physically, I've been busy mentally. I slowed down the other day though, when I attended a really beautiful funeral. Is beautiful a funny word for a funeral? It was, though. One of our dearest friends, Bob, lost his mother recently. She was 95 and surrounded by her family, so in many ways, as good as it gets. Nothing is that simple though, and it was still a loss. If I've learned nothing else about death, it's that even when it's expected, perhaps even overdue, it still hurts like hell. It's messy and it's hard.
In one of his last moments as a pastor, Bob performed the service, and his brother and sister in law both spoke. It was truly moving. A couple of moments that caught the edges of my heart were when Bob's brother Rip talked about how he always ended up eating when he was on a phone call with his mother...the result of all the times he came home late when he was living at home and his mother would feed him pie or cookies as they chatted. That simple, human response to her voice and their memories together just touched me. Bob also spoke beautifully about his mother. He communicated her strength so clearly. He said she had once commented to him that when her children were with her she felt complete.
Complete.
Recently I've been bugging the boys to do an overnight trip with us. They rolled their eyes a bit but agreed...if we can fit it into their busy schedules of course. I tried to explain to them how much I love being in a hotel room and knowing that we were all safely together. It means so much to me if I happen to get up in the night and can look at the faces of all three men I love so much all sleeping. Bob's mother put the words in my mouth. I feel complete. Yes, there are all the other work, worries, joys, and passions in my life, but at that moment I feel complete.
Much love to all the extended Rasmus family. They feel very much like family of our own.
Hey all....some of you might know that my beloved Bob Rasmus is retiring as pastor for St. Matthew's Lutheran Church in Urbana. It's a big change and we need to CELEBRATE it! Friday night at Rigg's Brewery in Urbana from 5:30 to 8:00 pm...come and drink a toast and give him, Ann, and Sophie hugs. We adore this guy and want it to be special so hope you can make it.
Nick Rudd doing exactly what he should be doing. So beautiful.
Thank you with all my heart to Peter Holsapple, Will Rigby and Glenn Jones. Thank you with all my heart to all that came, and especially those that traveled to get here. Thank you for your generosity to the musicians and chipping in with some donations to us...we greatly appreciate it.
Nights like that one are why we do this. We are so fortunate to be able to share this with you.
Visited a friend for lunch yesterday. She is raising her granddaughter who is struggling with PNES. I had never heard of this until it appeared in her life. It's a condition in which you have what appears to be epileptic seizures but which are actually triggered by psychological factors. When I was there her granddaughter passed out and had a seizure, all while simply attempting to brush her teeth. It's heartbreaking and devastating to this family. We were going to go out to lunch but it was not to be so I brought some leftovers and we ate and talked. One of the things that was sad was hearing how appreciative she was that I came. She said people just don't come. I think it's not that she doesn't have people that care about her, it's that once again, we are so uncomfortable with anything with a whiff of mental illness, even though so many of us struggle with some level or form of it. It's kind of the human condition, no?
I was touched by my visit because I love them, and it was yet another reminder that we need to reach out to one another. I know there are many times I have failed, but as I've been touched by those that have reached out to me at various times, I realize how important it is, and I try to do it myself. Imperfectly, but I try.
Last week we went for a drink with our beloved Nick Rudd. We sat talking about everything and nothing all at the same time, and I mused on when I first met him. I think it was at a party in Decatur...in a huge old mansion that was divided up into apartments. I might be wrong, but that's what I recall. Later that evening, I thought about it more. I must have been 18, maybe 19, and he would have been a couple of years older. It struck me that's not much older than the guys. I can't help but wonder who they are meeting now that will be in their life as many years as it has been since I met Nick. It's like looking at baby pictures. I'd look at the boys' pictures when they were little and wonder what it would be like to look at those pictures when they were adults. What will stand out as so Owen or so Leo?
My dear friend, Bob, lost his mother this week. She was 95 and surrounded by family, so in some ways as good as it gets. It's still a brutal experience, though. I remember, after my sister died, I said to Bob that I thought I would have been more prepared. He gently told me, "you can't practice something you've never done." That's always stayed with me, not just in regards to death, but in other aspects of life.
I am so grateful for my friends and loved ones. I wish I could take some of their hurt but we all have to bear that in one way or another.
I had a work meeting yesterday morning, which I really enjoy. I also ran into one of my favorite people, Morgan Usadel, and got a hug from him, so I started off the day pretty nicely. I headed over to World Harvest for some olives and once again reminded myself that I need to shop there more often. The old location was so nice for us that we stopped in a lot more often. But damn, the place was really looking good yesterday and they had exactly the kind of olives I wanted. I scuttled home and worked until about 2:30, at which point Owen was home and so we took off for Chicago. Well, Evanston, to be exact. The Long Ryders are doing a reunion tour and their 1986 (I think) show at Harpo's in Detroit still ranks as one of my top ten shows ever. I hemmed and hawed about tickets because well, because...money. At the last minute, I rationalized it by saying it would for Ernie's birthday. Owen has grown to love them as well so I got three tickets, and managed to get the last table! Never thought I'd love reserved seating, but there you have it.
Driving to Chicago with Owen is delightful. He LOVES driving in the city. He's pretty much a master at it and he managed to get a parking place practically in front of the place. We had dinner in the Union Pizza that's in front of Space. They seated us in the far back corner; we wondered if they were ashamed of us but it actually was a delightful spot. The service was outstanding. So lovely. My salad was very good but I know it would have been even better if I hadn't had to say 'no roasted onions' and 'no toasted rye breadcrumbs.' The sweetness of the onion and crisp salty of the breadcrumbs would have put it over the top...just the way they planned it! It was still very good though...no complaints.
We loved the opening act, Joe Nolan. I could see him at a house concert sometime.
Got a chance to chat with Tina, and Steve Lindstrom. It was lovely to see them, and so nice to be able to introduce them to Owen.
The Long Ryders had some great moments but they weren't the Long Ryders of 1986. Of course, I'm not the Cynthia of 1986 either so there you go. Steven McCarthy was always my favorite Long Ryder so I got a picture of him with Owen and Ernie...two generations of Long Ryder fans!
We left Evanston and wound down Sheridan road. We drove down Chase Street to see the esteemed Lighthouse and our old apartment right at the end of the street by the lake. Then we got the urge to see the beach so we drove around to the Park District lot and just double-parked as it was full. It used to be all sand from the Leone Beach building down to the water. Now it's grass for much of the way with marked paths. Once we got to the edge of the water, I tossed my shoes off and waded. Ernie stood back as he usually does and Owen walked to the end of the breakwater as I yelled at him to be careful. The clouds were full of lightning flashes and I was so happy I could have cried. We pointed out the windows and balcony of our old apartment to Owen and standing there, listening to the waves and feeling the soft air, was a perfect moment. We clambered back into the car, me with sandy feet and finally headed home. Owen drove much of the way but he started to get tired so when we stopped to get gas and junk food (but gluten-free!) Ernie took over. I'd hoped I'd fall asleep but I was too wound up. We got home around 2:00 and I beat both Owen and Ernie to bed. I'm tired today but feel good.
Tomorrow? HOUSE CONCERT!! Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait!
What a lovely day yesterday was. I got antsy midday so Ernie and I headed over to Krannert Center to catch on of the free Ellnora shows. Ernie and I both developed crushes on the guitarist in Savila. Actually I couldn't decide whether I wanted to look like the guitarist OR the drummer. Very cool. Chatted a moment in the elevator with the drummer. Lovely.
Sidenote....during part of the show I wasted time wondering why some people dancing irritate me so much while I love it when others dance. I finally came to the conclusion that it's when people make their dancing a performance...and that in front of other performers that seems rude. The people dancing in front of the stage....absolutely wonderful! Also...thanks to Stuart/Stewart/Steuart for coming over to say hi (friend me on facebook if you are the facebook type). It's funny....I know I put this blog out there but I'm still always surprised when someone introduces themselves and says they read it! It was a nice spot in the day, so thanks. Afterward, we had about an hour and a half to kill before picking Owen up from Record Swap, so we treated ourselves to a late lunch at Crane Alley.
It was such a lovely day we sat outside and I pondered how sad it is that the neon is gone from the Cinema. Remember this? From an old Elvis Brothers clip?
We went and picked up Owen at Swap. My goofy sweet pea. He's wearing a name tag of Ernie's that he had when he worked on the old airbase. It says "We Care" and "Mr. Blackwelder."
We swept Owen home and headed back to Krannert. Our beloved Richard Hill had saved us seats front and center!! And to our left were lots of other good friends. The Bluebonnets fucking rocked. Completely rock and roll. And let's face it, Kathy Valentine really WAS always the coolest Go-Go.
Later, we finished off the evening at dinner with our beloved Debbie Stewart and Nick Rudd. Honestly, can it get much better?
Beautiful Friday. Birthday dinner with my beloved Rasmus family. Happy birthday, Bob! My little town just looked so pretty as we walked toward Fries and Peanuts.
Leo framed one of his Big Boy prints. Bob seems to identify with the giant engine.
Gorgeous Saturday afternoon. Red wine, crossword puzzles, hydrangea.
Owen's sunglasses.
Salad with ginger-scallion sauce. A couple of oven-fried curry chicken legs along with this. Cucumbers from Owen's garden.
Not pictured but happened: wine and popcorn with Teri and a random wedding party at Huber's. Perfect breakfast smoothie in my gorgeous new blender courtesy my wonderful BIL Dennis. A couple of hours of work in my delightful little office (still a work in progress but I love it...AND my office chair also courtesy Dennis).
Not pictured but planned: A couple more hours of work in my office. Target run. Yard time.
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